Donald Trump: A Beauty and Fragrance Collection (satire)

If you don’t already know, Donald Trump just released a new collection of clothing, makeup, and fragrances to start off the new year. I purchased all of them, and here is my review…

The Fragrances: 

Eau D’Ignorance: I have to say, this scent was slightly off-putting. It smelled like something I’d pick up at a WalMart in the deep south. It was also odd because this scent which I found revolting was plastered all over everyone’s blog, saying how strong and powerful it was. So much attention for a horrible product! I wonder how many of those people who wrote about the scent actually have it and have tested it. My guess is not many. In short, the undertones were musk, tears of the minorities, and saliva from the gag reflexes of the people who have tried it. 0/10 don’t consider.

Parfum A’Lies: This scent was interesting to me. Coming straight out of the bottle it smelled great! Give it two hours though, and you’ll realize it doesn’t last. With this particular scent, I noticed that although I thought the change was noticeable, some people just kept wearing it! These people just kept reapplying… The quality of the making of this scent has gone down as well. In the beginning, it seemed genuinely nice, but as time progresses, it has become vile from the start. The undertones were: balsam fir, racism, blatant uneducation on the topic at hand, unpreparedness,  and bad fact-checkers.

 

The Makeup Line: 

Trump-Eyed And True “The Basics” Eye Palette: We all know what Trump has said about women: aesthetically-pleasing objects, gold diggers, dumb, ugly, and losers. That’s why Trump made this eye palette with women in mind! I guess he’s HELPING us not be all these things! From a shimmery/opalescent white to a dark charcoal, we can fix our eyes to make them look less like these labels he gives us.

Cover Up Your Ugliness Full Coverage Concealer: Because women need to look perfect for men, and because women are always ugly and dumb, Trump made a perfect concealer to cover it all up! With this creamy, highly pigmented concealer you can easily apply with one or two (or 10 or 11) swipes of your concealer brush! It comes in 2 colors, fair and light. Women of color, you can’t be pretty. Remember fellow white women, we’re just objects, so we should try to be pretty ones!

Trump Towers of Color Contour and Highlight Palette: This 12 color palette features 8 contours and 4 highlights. Women can re-shape the way they are in order to be better wives and mothers by using this palette. The color payoff was mediocre. It reminded me a lot of the comments he made about Cher, Carly Fiorina and other major females in the world. I wouldn’t purchase this again, try au natural, as long as you are okay with being alone for the rest of your life.  

 

This is satire– if you couldn’t get the gist 🙂

-SRP

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3 thoughts on “Donald Trump: A Beauty and Fragrance Collection (satire)

  1. I am not an American. Though I was married to one, for some years. One has to wonder at how the man even got on the ticket in the first place? I know it’s not settled as to who the Republican nomination will go to? I wonder whether possibly, he’s being a cat’s paw? That if Jeb Bush was the primary candidate, all knives would be sharpened? For yet another of that family.

    Given the wealth of the Bush’s. I would be surprised not to see his name on the ticket, in the end? Something America does not need, is another Bush in the White House.

    “The time has come,” the Walrus said,
    “To talk of many things:
    Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–
    Of cabbages–and kings–
    And why the sea is boiling hot–
    And whether pigs have wings.”

    “But wait a bit,” the Oysters cried,
    “Before we have our chat;
    For some of us are out of breath,
    And all of us are fat!”
    “No hurry!” said the Carpenter.
    They thanked him much for that.

    “A loaf of bread,” the Walrus said,
    “Is what we chiefly need:
    Pepper and vinegar besides
    Are very good indeed–
    Now if you’re ready, Oysters dear,
    We can begin to feed.”

    “But not on us!” the Oysters cried,
    Turning a little blue.
    “After such kindness, that would be
    A dismal thing to do!”
    “The night is fine,” the Walrus said.
    “Do you admire the view?
    ~ Lewis Carroll.

    When the electorate are the oysters.

    Liked by 1 person

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